1. |
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I could use something going for me these days because no one seems to want to talk about anything that's happening or that's happened lately
we don't have to talk, we can sit around in silence
or I could listen to anything you want to say
I can't hold a grudge, at least not the way I used to
and this hurts me, can't help but think that it might hurt you too
I don't want to wait around much longer
I don't want to wait around for things to keep getting worse
andI hope you know you're still my best friend
I hope you know how much I love you
I guess that I could stand to say it more
I'm not the friend that you deserve
and I'm not sure how to put this all into words
but I guess I'll try, I hope you know that it's all true
I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, and I miss you
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2. |
kogan fountain
02:53
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sweat stains my shirt, a plague of reasons keeps on telling me that I should go home
you're another pair of eyes I try to shake- you'll never see my heart beating
I know you're there and it's not fair-these imaginary lines between us
the fountain's cold, my clothes are soaked, just another DC night between us
late once again, four years seem to pass so quickly
they're dead and gone, I've been wondering where I went wrong
I close my eyes
hate what I find
can't seem to get this right.
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3. |
making j-pop moves
03:15
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do you still think about Japan?
it's been on my mind awhile
or maybe just heading out west,
I've been counting miles
it's just time and gasoline
I don't think we have to be afraid to see the possibilities
what's another drink with a friend? where else I gotta be?
or a drive to the show when I should be asleep?
because I've always got time for you, I know you always have the time for me too
I fell asleep on the couch to the sounds of throwing up
you smoked pot in the back room when I was waking up
I could have stayed there for days and never had enough
I can't wish away the feeling of always growing up
I hate being alone
I hate feeling afraid
I can feel it sneaking up every second I'm away
feel my throat closing up
my vision fades to grey
my heartbeat hangs on every word you say
I still think about Japan
I still want to head out west
I spend every day thinking of what matters but never what's best
I think I love it here
I think I love it here
I think I love it here
I fucking love it here
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4. |
Greece sucks sometimes
04:08
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when you're walking next to my apartment,
watch for the light from the building next door
plastic wrap lines all the windows and doorways
sidewalk is riddled with holes
you're miles away and a few floors below me
at least that's how it feels sometimes
watch your step, don't want you hitting your head on the concrete
look at your breath, it's getting colder and colder in DC
day by day
keep your hands warm
stay inside
don't want you catching a cold so just call it a night
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5. |
made to break
05:01
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leave it up to me to mess things up this badly
can't seem to stay on my two feet these days
leave it up to me to be the bad guy in every story
and everyone that came before me knew so much more
I tried so hard just to gain some new perspective
on this situation I've been in
our secret's getting out my friend
it's getting out of hand
I really hate to tell you this
think about the nights we've missed
sitting alone inside your room
hiding from the mess we made outside
I can't hold your hand forever
sometimes you just have to take in a deep deep breath and make that dive
and pray to God you'll make it out alive
so take a deep deep breath in because I know all the places that you've been
and I don't care, I'm not scared of you
I don't care because I'm not scared of you
so take a deep deep breath in
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6. |
whiskey water
03:57
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wake up to the sun on the pavement assuring you you're alive
what's life thrown at you that makes you feel so confident you can't survive?
your list of problems is probably longer than my but we're all just trying to get by
so spit out all this sadness you have and remember it all blows over in time
make a scene throw your voice think of something to say
you can scream you can laugh you can wear out your face
but it's useless, you know that, you still do it anyways
are you wasting away? are you fucking ok? maybe living like this means your already dead
and I know how it ends so don't play it again, it's a movie i've seen it's a story I've read
it's not all about you, it's not all about all the things that you think that you keep getting wrong
it's not all about me, it's not all about all the miserable things that I think that I've done
when will we stop feeling so Goddamn sorry for ourselves?
and God I'm so sorry for feeling so Goddamn sorry for myself
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7. |
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I saw God reaching out of the sky picking up pieces of myself I left behind
He asked me, "kid you've been walking aways?" I said, "God you have no idea"
we sat and talked and I asked Him what His favorite record was
He said, "I love what was said on East/West, you could all build something better"
He asked me about mine, I said, "signals midwest said it best, I know I've been counting the days for awhile"
and they go
I think we're all looking for something that lasts a little longer than broken glass and broken homes and paper casts to heal all our broken bones
this isn't a prayer, more like thinking out loud because the times that we've talked God, we both know it felt like I was holding back
so here it is- I shouldn't be anything to anyone
and I wasn't trying my best but I continued to say I was
it's just easier that way
I see you, I need you, I need you to make me whole again
I saw God reaching out of the sky picking up pieces of myself I left behind
He asked me, "kid did you ever really try?"
I said, "no but I wrote You this song to apologize, these days I just want to be better"
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8. |
I don't plan, I plot
03:35
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20th and I at 18, because we are young and we can get away with anything
DC nights spent on the rooftop, drinking with my friend is as good as it got
hours go by cigarette after cigarette and I feel alone
20th and I at 19, because I never grow up, I never learn anything
sleepless nights, spent on the sidewalk, drinking by myself is as good as I got
I won't be ok, that's ok
I get home today, but I wont stay
I don't want to stay
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9. |
sometimes people suck
02:56
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I'm so sick
I'm so scared I can barely even move
what was going through your head?
you took everything she had to loose
I hope you die alone
people like you are the worst thing this world has ever known
I don't know how to unbury myself from everything that came caving in so suddenly
I'll never know how to make things right, I think I'd die if I could just take back that night
maybe if you slit your wrists or drown in your own blood
I could be happy for the first time in months
but you won't do anything, that's just the way this world always seems to work
while she looses everything, she'll never find a day where all of this doesn't hurt
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10. |
all we do is talk
03:50
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well I've been here before
she smelled like cigarettes, passed out face down on my floor
I know she tried to make things right but sometimes you can't fix things this broke
I took the long way around
trying hard not to get caught I fought the urge to make a sound
the words were on my tongue but they all sounded so wrong
so I slipped back into silence, I put them back where they came from
I wish that I could say something like
"hey I hope there's no hard feelings"
but maybe it's too soon
if I'm anything like you I know exactly how you're feeling
is happiness really this hard?
because I've been chasing it around before it gets too fucking far for me to catch
I'm detached, I hope she's getting along
I never really wanted anyone to need me after all
because I'm a post and she's a vine; she grew herself around my spine
she had to see thing coming, was just a matter of time
so now I'm trying something new, I separate myself from you and hope that we both end up alright in time.
I don't want my past to ruin what I have with you
I don't want to let you down
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Soundtrack to Sleep Washington, D.C.
Emo/posthardcore/shoegaze from northern Virginia.
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Emo, mathy, fantastic.
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