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Catch Me if You Can

by Soundtrack to Sleep

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1.
Let me feel my way around. I've never been here before and it doesn't help when you stare me down like you do. Tell me something no one knows and I'll show you I'm not the person you make me out to be. So try and catch me if you can. My hands are dyed deep red. I'm not anything like your plans for the perfect teeth or the perfect words every time I open up my mouth to speak. I'm callously careless as always: the casualty of another broken heart- no plans to make amends to anyone. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I'm moving fast and I just can't let anybody slow me down. Not even you. So try and catch me if you can. My hands are dyed deep red. I'm not anything like your plans for the picture perfect scene, this is not a dream. So wake up while you can. You'll never get anywhere with your feet on the ground and your head in the air, up with the clouds. So figure yourself out and get back to me. I know it's not pretty but you've learned not to listen to me. Never listen to me.
2.
20th and I 03:07
We sat wasting time in my living room. You drank too much and, maybe, you spoke to soon. It's been awhile since I've been home. Don't it feel like we're all alone? It's a shitty feeling but you know what it's like. When you're alone it's hard to put up the same type of fight. Fight em back fight em back kid you got nothing left to lose. Head up above the water you do what you gotta do. When you're kicking up dirt and getting no results share the load. The shit you carry alone is always the worst. Do you know who you are? Do you know what you mean? You could anything so why not do everything? Just go. Catch me if you can.
3.
Atlases 04:23
Airports and airplanes. Aircraft and airfields in my brain. Bad seats on long trains. Coal and oil burning up my veins. I see exactly where you stand. I run screaming catch me if you can. On a scavenger list of things I could never find you are the last thing that I need: we are the last ones of our kind. I love the idea of never going home, just burn my body leave the ashes by the side of the road. I see exactly where you stand. I run screaming catch me if you can. Catch me if you can.
4.
Sorry I wasn't sorry this time- I was too busy being mad. I always seem to mess up all the things that I have. You'd yell and I'd scream. We'd say things we don't mean. I guess this was bound to never last. But still, I hate to see you go. Left with all the things that we said. Because they were course and they were cruel. I don't know that I knew what I had back then. I was stupid then but I tried. I let all the things I have just pass me on by. Like the fool that I am- the fool I am destined to be. Dear God, I'd do anything. Just say you won't leave. I got so much left to say to you. Fuck you and fuck the things I said. I hope you know that you're the cause of every mess you're in. I hate the way you acted like you cared I should've known I couldn't fare with someone as crazy as you. You hate it when I scream- I hate it when you fucking speak to me. You lie compulsively. I wish that I could get some sleep. I swear to God I'll try and keep my dignity in tact. But you're such a hard act to follow. The things I had to deal with from you- I never knew. I'll find my way to the time we last kissed. I'll look back and completely retrace. I'll throw all of your words in your face and say, "Why can't you give it a break?" The things I had to deal with from you. I never knew.
5.
Been having trouble sleeping lately and when I get there I stay. Hear this knocking at my window pane. I just want the noise to go away. And oh, I know I've been low, but I'm trying not to let it show. Every once in awhile I can picture your smile in a photograph I took. It's from a while back. How the time seems to pass while you're waiting. I fell asleep hoping I'd find my way back to you. Hoping I'd see some of the faces I once knew. Don't worry it get's better. I know we've been better. I know things have been better. I'll be with you forever, for worse or for better. Don't worry it get's better.

about

It'd be cool if this meant something to someone else, but really I just wanted to do it.

credits

released August 25, 2012

Recorded and mastered at Basement Studios in Richmond, VA by Paul Manley. Art by Leah Lozano. Music and words by CJ Ballesteros and Brett Minard.

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Soundtrack to Sleep Washington, D.C.

Emo/posthardcore/shoegaze from northern Virginia.

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